As a teenager, LeAnne
was my best friend. I thought of her like a
sister. She had a beautiful and loving baby
daughter, Hope. I spent every waking moment
possible with LeAnne and Hope. But about two
months before LeAnne passed away, she and I
had a falling out. We said hurtful things to
each other and ended our friendship. I wanted
to make up with LeAnne and decided I would call
her on Hope's first birthday, thinking LeAnne
would be in a good mood and let me apologize.
I never got to make that phone call.
days before Hope turned one, LeAnne died in
a terrible car accident. It was the middle of
January. Our friend, Philip, was driving. Taking
a sharp curve too fast, he lost control. The
car skidded, hit a tree stump, flew into the
air for 364 feet and landed in a pond. LeAnne
and Philip were trapped in the car underwater
for 30 minutes before help arrived. At the hospital,
LeAnne lived for an hour or so before passing,
and Philip made it just a touch longer.
was completely devastated. I couldn't sleep,
didn't want to eat. LeAnne, my best friend in
all the world was gone. All I could think of
was our argument and how I never got to say
I was sorry. Would never get to say sorry. Or
nights after her death, I went to bed and finally
fell asleep from exhaustion. It wasn't long
before I had the most interesting and amazing
dream in my life.
was in my living room playing with Hope, and
I looked up to see a man walk in and sit down.
He looked old and dirty. I had never seen him
before. He sat on the couch and reached underneath
to pull out my phone.
asked him, "What are you doing in this house,
and why are you using our phone?"
old man looked at me and said, "I'm going to
became upset. "Don't you know LeAnne is dead?"
studied me for a moment and said, "Don't you
know Heaven has a phone number, too?" He
dialed a number and then, leaving the phone, he vanished. I went
back to playing with Hope.
magnificently white floated past me. I stood
and turned. It was LeAnne! She was bathed in
the most glorious light. She herself looked
splendid and glorious.
need to talk," she said. "Follow me."
went into my bedroom, but all of my things were
gone except my bed and the curtains. My bedspread
and curtains are red, but now everything was
white. A beautiful bright white that seemed
sat on the bed, put my head in my hands and
started crying. LeAnne pulled my hands away
and took my chin to make me look at her. She
smiled and I could see she was happier than
her smile could ever match. She radiated peace
and serenity. She was the most beautiful I had
ever seen her.
cried, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry!"
chuckled and said, "Do you know why I came back
but I wanted so bad to make up with you! To
tell you how special you are to me. But you
said, "I came back to say good-bye to you and
to tell you that I am not mad. I love you, Mindy,
and everything is fine. We are fine. I'm sorry
I had to go without getting a chance to tell
you that I am sorry, too."
feelings began flowing through me and I wanted
to say so much more to her. But she told me
she had to go. "There are other people I need
to say good-bye to," she said.
a knock came on my bedroom door, and I woke
up. "Who is it?" I yelled.
voice said, "LeAnne."
jumped out of bed and opened the door. Nobody
was there. I was still alone in my apartment.
In my dream with LeAnne I had felt so peaceful,
so calm, so still. I tried to hold on to that
feeling. I wanted it to last forever.
now, these years later, I still want to feel
that way. I was 17 when I lost LeAnne. Now I
am 27, and I think of that dream often. Sometimes
I feel like I am forgetting LeAnne, or that
I can't recall all the days we had together.
But she always finds a way to let me know that
she's still with me.
day I was missing LeAnne so badly I phoned my
mom. I told her how much I missed my friend
and that I felt like I was losing her all over
again. When I hung up I went out to my car,
and as soon as I turned on the engine, a Mary
J. Blige song came on the radio. That song had
been one of LeAnne's favorites. I knew instantly
that this was her way of saying that, although
I may feel like I was losing her, in reality
she was never far away.
years later, Hope is doing fine. LeAnne's parents
are living day by day. I still keep in touch
with all of them. They are my connection to
one of my dearest friends. Sometimes I feel
like I don't deserve to have God's love because
I haven't always been the greatest person. But
I have noticed that God places certain people
in my life, wonderful people, with good hearts
and strong minds who have helped me with my
struggles as a single parent. One thing they
have in common is that they also go to church
and recognize God's love. I know he has placed
these people in my life, like LeAnne, to help
me and guide me to Him.
I hope to see you in my dreams again!!