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Good-bye My Friend


As a teenager, LeAnne was my best friend. I thought of her like a sister. She had a beautiful and loving baby daughter, Hope. I spent every waking moment possible with LeAnne and Hope. But about two months before LeAnne passed away, she and I had a falling out. We said hurtful things to each other and ended our friendship. I wanted to make up with LeAnne and decided I would call her on Hope's first birthday, thinking LeAnne would be in a good mood and let me apologize. I never got to make that phone call.

Eleven days before Hope turned one, LeAnne died in a terrible car accident. It was the middle of January. Our friend, Philip, was driving. Taking a sharp curve too fast, he lost control. The car skidded, hit a tree stump, flew into the air for 364 feet and landed in a pond. LeAnne and Philip were trapped in the car underwater for 30 minutes before help arrived. At the hospital, LeAnne lived for an hour or so before passing, and Philip made it just a touch longer.

I was completely devastated. I couldn't sleep, didn't want to eat. LeAnne, my best friend in all the world was gone. All I could think of was our argument and how I never got to say I was sorry. Would never get to say sorry. Or good-bye.

Two nights after her death, I went to bed and finally fell asleep from exhaustion. It wasn't long before I had the most interesting and amazing dream in my life.

I was in my living room playing with Hope, and I looked up to see a man walk in and sit down. He looked old and dirty. I had never seen him before. He sat on the couch and reached underneath to pull out my phone.

I asked him, "What are you doing in this house, and why are you using our phone?"

The old man looked at me and said, "I'm going to call LeAnne."

I became upset. "Don't you know LeAnne is dead?" I yelled.

He studied me for a moment and said, "Don't you know Heaven has a phone number, too?" He dialed a number and then, leaving the phone, he vanished. I went back to playing with Hope.

Something magnificently white floated past me. I stood and turned. It was LeAnne! She was bathed in the most glorious light. She herself looked splendid and glorious.

"We need to talk," she said. "Follow me."

We went into my bedroom, but all of my things were gone except my bed and the curtains. My bedspread and curtains are red, but now everything was white. A beautiful bright white that seemed never ending.

I sat on the bed, put my head in my hands and started crying. LeAnne pulled my hands away and took my chin to make me look at her. She smiled and I could see she was happier than her smile could ever match. She radiated peace and serenity. She was the most beautiful I had ever seen her.

I cried, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry!"

She chuckled and said, "Do you know why I came back here?"

"No, but I wanted so bad to make up with you! To tell you how special you are to me. But you died before..."

LeAnne said, "I came back to say good-bye to you and to tell you that I am not mad. I love you, Mindy, and everything is fine. We are fine. I'm sorry I had to go without getting a chance to tell you that I am sorry, too."

Sweet feelings began flowing through me and I wanted to say so much more to her. But she told me she had to go. "There are other people I need to say good-bye to," she said.

Suddenly a knock came on my bedroom door, and I woke up. "Who is it?" I yelled.

A voice said, "LeAnne."

I jumped out of bed and opened the door. Nobody was there. I was still alone in my apartment. In my dream with LeAnne I had felt so peaceful, so calm, so still. I tried to hold on to that feeling. I wanted it to last forever.

Even now, these years later, I still want to feel that way. I was 17 when I lost LeAnne. Now I am 27, and I think of that dream often. Sometimes I feel like I am forgetting LeAnne, or that I can't recall all the days we had together. But she always finds a way to let me know that she's still with me.

One day I was missing LeAnne so badly I phoned my mom. I told her how much I missed my friend and that I felt like I was losing her all over again. When I hung up I went out to my car, and as soon as I turned on the engine, a Mary J. Blige song came on the radio. That song had been one of LeAnne's favorites. I knew instantly that this was her way of saying that, although I may feel like I was losing her, in reality she was never far away.

Ten years later, Hope is doing fine. LeAnne's parents are living day by day. I still keep in touch with all of them. They are my connection to one of my dearest friends. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to have God's love because I haven't always been the greatest person. But I have noticed that God places certain people in my life, wonderful people, with good hearts and strong minds who have helped me with my struggles as a single parent. One thing they have in common is that they also go to church and recognize God's love. I know he has placed these people in my life, like LeAnne, to help me and guide me to Him.

LeAnne I hope to see you in my dreams again!!

Mindy O'Brien




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