My daughter died over a year ago. From the very moment
that I heard of her death, a great sense of calm and peace came over me.
I don't know how, but I had even known a week before that she was going
to die. She had been on a trip, and a week later on coming home, she died
instantly after the car she was riding in went off the road and crashed
into a tree.
Now I never thought
of people growing in heaven until some time had passed after
her death, and my prayers and encounters with her and God became
a common part of my life. My faith has deepened like never before.
You see, my daughter was only 17 when she died. Even though I
had a sense of peace about her death, I still worried about her
and prayed for her a lot right after she died. I can only think
that it was the motherly instinct of worry inside me. But to
calm me, she visited me in my dreams, and then later I visited
her in my prayers.
Over the course of
this past year, I have actually watched her mature! At least
for the sake of understanding, I believe that she is now somewhere
around the age of 25. At first, in my encounters with her, I
saw her much like the daughter she was here on earthfull
of youthful spunk and attitude. But then, as time went on, she seemed to
begin to mature. I sensed somehow that it was the acceptance of her new
state of being that seemed to calm her. And she was no longer considered
a "new" spirit in heaven. She was quickly adapting,
becoming more attuned with things in heaven, and I felt that
I was losing her to a world I could not go to. Ever since her
death, I had felt as if she were in a far away country, one that
I couldn't visit her in or speak to her. But I simply had to
learn a different way. Instead, I had to rely on my prayers and
meditation in the spirit to visit with her.
I have been aware
of her activities. She has been "flying" to and fro
on earth at times, visiting her friends in the town were she
went to school last. They can't see her, but she can see them.
She has also continued to visit me, but more so now only upon
my deep desire to see and visit with her. She is very busy and
preoccupied with her duties in heaven more and more. She smiles
sweetly all the time and doesn't seem to miss anyone here at
I miss her human
presence sometimes, and that's when I ask to visit with her in
my prayersthat's when she
Recently she has
told me to speak more with Jesus in my prayers, and to focus
on serving Him and helping others while I'm here. She tells me
she is very busy and that we will be together again anyway. I
have found that I now have a confidence and peace that I never
had before when talking about God, heaven or His word in the
Bible. Heaven is no longer such a far away place to me, but rather
a place close in my heart. I speak to my daugther often, not
as if she's dead, but as if she's livingjust somewhere
else. I am also letting her go more and more to do what she needs
to, and I am spending more time with Jesus.