At home one night, shortly after midnight,
I was reading my Bible while taking a breathing treatment for asthma. Suddenly
it reversed and my airways began to close up rapidly. I frantically took
the measures which usually help my breathing, but to no avail. I'm a single
mom, so it was just me and my kids at home. I ran down the hall to my youngest
son's bedroom, flipped on the light, and gasped, "Joey, I can't breathe!"
Joey has asthma and somehow I thought he might help me. But of course I'd
already tried everything he knew to do.
I ran to the kitchen and fumbled
for my keys, thinking I would drive myself to the emergency room. (!) But
a certain feeling within told me to dial 911. I did, but could hardly gasp
out any words. The lady on the phone continually assured me that an ambulance
was on its way and told me not to hang up until it arrived. I stretched
the phone cord outside to my carport and turned on the light, hoping they
could find me faster. I heard my children coming toward the open door, and
I prayed over and over, "God, please don't let me die like this. Not here
in front of my kids." But my last conscious memory was bending over gasping
for breath, telling the 911 lady that I was passing out and wasn't going
to make it, and then I turned around and saw my children standing in the
doorway, helplessly watching me die.
When I next opened my eyes, I
was lying on a hospital gurney. I looked towards my feet and noticed I was
still wearing my tennis shoes. I saw the bed railings and the green covers.
I saw all of this and yet everything beyond the gurney on all sides was
black. I heard people talking around me, but their voices seemed muffled
and far away. I couldn't understand any of their words.
Suddenly in the darkness a beautiful
brilliant light appeared at my right side, and I sensed the presence of
God at the foot of the gurney. I did not see his face, but I knew he was
there. To say that I felt comforted is not adequate to describe the overwhelming
feeling of love and absolute well-being that engulfed my entire body and
soul. I realized I was breathing freely, without any trouble. The radiant
light began moving down my side. It went around my feet and then up my left
side and stopped. My one thought was, "I'm going home... I'm going home..."
I began drifting like a feather up towards the light.
Suddenly I was aware of a doctor
next to my bed. He was ordering someone to intubate me. "She's stopped
breathing," he said. But then he saw me awake and breathing again,
and he canceled the order. The light had gone away. So had the darkness.
And I kept that feeling of comfort and wholeness. I was taken to the ICU.
Later, I had many questions, and
the respiratory therapist that had been with me in the ER filled me in.
She said that when the paramedics arrived at my home, I still had a pulse
but was passing very little air. They administered oxygen and an IV and
loaded me into the ambulance. Because they couldn't leave my kids behind,
the paramedics gathered them and brought them in the ambulance with me.
Upon my arrival at the ER, I was as white as a tee shirt and had the "death
stare," she said. She immediately administered several medications,
but I quit breathing in spite of them. That is when the doctor had ordered
intubation, but "you just woke up and came around rapidly," she said. And
I was recovering nicely. She told me I was very lucky, and that one reason
the paramedics got to my house so fast was because they "happened" to be
in my neighborhood.
So many blessings from God! I
was grateful and so joyful! I immediately began telling anyone and everyone
about my experience with God and the light. The hospital staff couldn't
get me to quit talking about it...not even long enough to administer breathing
treatments! And I still share, today, because I knownot just believethat
our true "home" waits just a little beyond what we daily perceive.
God is there. And healing light. And love. And sweet comfort unending.