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My Spritual Journey with Billy


Nearly a month and a half ago my husband, Billy, was killed in a snowmobile accident. He was riding across a lake with some friends when he hit an ice bump and flew off the sled. He died instantly. We both were thirty and married two short months, but we had been together for nearly 11 years. I was devastated when I found out about his death. He was my very best friend and my favorite person in the whole world to be with.
For the first two weeks I couldn't eat, sleep, or think rationally. I was in a very dark place and I kept denying that it had happened. Then two weeks later, I really lost it. The reality of what happened finally hit me. Billy was never coming home, and I was never going to hold him or see him again. I decided I needed to leave and run away from it all, so I packed some things and headed for the east coast by myself (I'm from Minnesota). What happened to me during those first few days away was a miracle. Billy, my husband, was somehow able to communicate with me as I was driving. At first I thought I was losing my mind. After I calmed down, I then decided to sit back and listen and here's what I heard and learned:
He told me he was alive and well, and that heaven was unbelievably beautiful. He said he was free and could fly. He kept bringing up all the love he felt and that he could feel all the love in my heart. I remember him talking about all the love in heaven...he really stressed this. He said if he had the choice to come back, he wouldn't. He also knew the pain this had caused me, so he asked Jesus if he could intervene (I assume to come and visit me). He said that Jesus allowed it but THEY made it happen.
He told me he went through judgment (he didn't say anything else about this, but I remember feeling like it was very serious experience for him). He told me that he felt very fortunate that he was so loved by me while he was here on earth. He said he always knew I loved him but he really didn't know completely until he could feel my heart. He said he couldn't wait to show me all the things he had seen and done in heaven. He promised me when it was my time to go that he'd be there as soon as I opened my eyes, and that we would be together again, but this time it would be forever...eternity.
He said I would be going through a lot of changes and that I had a journey ahead of me yet. He also said we were worlds apart, but closer than I thought. He stressed that God doesn't create anything that dies. He then warned me to stop praying to him (to Billy) and to begin praying to Jesus. He said to have faith, to trust Jesus and to glorify His name. This was a very important message and I felt he wanted me to pass it on to others, especially his family.
All this went on over the course of three or four days. He ended by saying he had to go because THEY said I needed to heal. When I returned from my trip that I now call my "Spiritual Journey," I told Billy's family. They believed my story and were even able to help me understand it more since they knew more about heaven and the afterlife than I did. I never read anything on spirituality or near death experiences before that happened. In fact, I didn't even own a Bible. That's when Billy's sister asked me if I had read Embraced By The Light. I told her I hadn't and that's when she and her family knew my story was real. I finally understood the "THEY" thing and what he meant by all the love and freedom.
Since all this, I have really come to terms with his death. I know now that death is merely an illusion to us here on earth. It is such a relief to know I'll see him again. I feel very honored that Jesus allowed Billy to come back and tell me all this. I have so much faith now that I can't wait to die. I know I need to accomplish whatever it is here on earth so I'm trying to be patient. I've been praying to Jesus everyday to help me through this extremely painful experience and the darkness has been lifted for me. I can't believe that it is that simple. Believe and you'll be comforted. I want everyone who has lost a loved one to know that praying and asking Jesus to take the pain away really does work. I still miss Billy, but I'm finally able to see the big picture...I finally see the light.

Anne W.




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