Nearly a month and a half ago my husband, Billy,
was killed in a snowmobile accident. He was riding across a lake with some
friends when he hit an ice bump and flew off the sled. He died instantly.
We both were thirty and married two short months, but we had been together
for nearly 11 years. I was devastated when I found out about his death.
He was my very best friend and my favorite person in the whole world to
For the first two weeks I couldn't
eat, sleep, or think rationally. I was in a very dark place and I kept denying
that it had happened. Then two weeks later, I really lost it. The reality
of what happened finally hit me. Billy was never coming home, and I was
never going to hold him or see him again. I decided I needed to leave and
run away from it all, so I packed some things and headed for the east coast
by myself (I'm from Minnesota). What happened to me during those first few
days away was a miracle. Billy, my husband, was somehow able to communicate
with me as I was driving. At first I thought I was losing my mind. After
I calmed down, I then decided to sit back and listen and here's what I heard
He told me he was alive and well,
and that heaven was unbelievably beautiful. He said he was free and could
fly. He kept bringing up all the love he felt and that he could feel all
the love in my heart. I remember him talking about all the love in heaven...he
really stressed this. He said if he had the choice to come back, he wouldn't.
He also knew the pain this had caused me, so he asked Jesus if he could
intervene (I assume to come and visit me). He said that Jesus allowed it
but THEY made it happen.
He told me he went through judgment
(he didn't say anything else about this, but I remember feeling like it
was very serious experience for him). He told me that he felt very fortunate
that he was so loved by me while he was here on earth. He said he always
knew I loved him but he really didn't know completely until he could feel
my heart. He said he couldn't wait to show me all the things he had seen
and done in heaven. He promised me when it was my time to go that he'd be
there as soon as I opened my eyes, and that we would be together again,
but this time it would be forever...eternity.
He said I would be going through
a lot of changes and that I had a journey ahead of me yet. He also said
we were worlds apart, but closer than I thought. He stressed that God doesn't
create anything that dies. He then warned me to stop praying to him (to
Billy) and to begin praying to Jesus. He said to have faith, to trust Jesus
and to glorify His name. This was a very important message and I felt he
wanted me to pass it on to others, especially his family.
All this went on over
the course of three or four days. He ended by saying he had to
go because THEY said I needed to heal. When I returned from my
trip that I now call my "Spiritual
Journey," I told Billy's family. They believed my story and were
even able to help me understand it more since they knew more
about heaven and the afterlife than I did. I never read anything
on spirituality or near death experiences before that happened.
In fact, I didn't even own a Bible. That's when Billy's sister
asked me if I had read Embraced By The Light.
I told her I hadn't and that's when she and her family knew my
story was real. I finally understood the "THEY" thing and what
he meant by all the love and freedom.
Since all this, I have really
come to terms with his death. I know now that death is merely an illusion
to us here on earth. It is such a relief to know I'll see him again. I feel
very honored that Jesus allowed Billy to come back and tell me all this.
I have so much faith now that I can't wait to die. I know I need to accomplish
whatever it is here on earth so I'm trying to be patient. I've been praying
to Jesus everyday to help me through this extremely painful experience and
the darkness has been lifted for me. I can't believe that it is that simple.
Believe and you'll be comforted. I want everyone who has lost a loved one
to know that praying and asking Jesus to take the pain away really does
work. I still miss Billy, but I'm finally able to see the big picture...I
finally see the light.