Discovering my headaches were brought on by a brain aneurism, I was admitted to the hospital to undergo a 2-3 hour operation that turned into many hours as I went into cardiac arrest. I never felt a thing after I drifted off to sleep. In mind and body I had been so very restless with matters that consumed my life lately. Yet somewhere in the night, before the morning, I must have drifted far away.
I was in a place I can't describe. There were voices singing a bounty of songs to beautiful music but I could not see anyone. It was paradise, yet so unbelievable. I found myself lost, unable to find my way and finally just gave in and followed my heart.
Out of nowhere I heard a tender voice call out to me. I wondered who this angel was yet she spoke in such a soft tone that I trusted her when she held out her hand and said, "I know where you need to be." As we walked along, I learned she was made up of nothing less than the holy spirit. She was so pure, as if to be the mother Mary from the bible. As we wandered along, side by side, I could see she was as soft upon her feet as the clouds that drifted across the never ending deep blue sky stretching out before the heavens.
She led me across a valley to a little log home that rested beside a peaceful green forest with flowers and woven vines hanging all along the porch. Moving closer to the house I realized my angel was no longer with me. She had simply faded away with the same charm as when she arrived. I began to wonder if she was ever really there at all?
It was then I saw what I could only call "LOVE" dancing inside the tiny log home. A wood fire crackled and I could smell the sweet aroma of the oak wood as it drifted up and away from the cottage. Looking through the window I noticed a table set for two. “Love” was so happy for some reason and I was full of anticipation with many questions to be asked. Love was dressed in a beautiful flowing gown with her beautiful long hair pinned up on her head. I watched as Love smiled and sang beautiful songs with words that built and gave meanings and ideas beyond any mortal understanding.
My heart started to pound as a feeling came over me that let me know I had reached the end of my life's journey. I had found inner peace like never before. The connection between Love's and my soul was a given and we were destined always. I completely understood that there was never a beginning, and would never be an ending. As I watched, the large picture window reflected the valley behind me. Communication was well orchestrated between the light and darkness allowing rays of sunshine to somehow find their way bouncing in and out between the shimmering branches of the tall trees. Flowing onward was a rumbling river with the deepest of colors, only an artist with a humble soul could truly process the gentleness with every stroke of the brush to give it life. There was also soft locks of grass that grew along each side of the river reaching far beyond my imagination waving back and forth. Coming and going with "The wind."
I then wondered, "How could all this be? Who hath the right to expose these gifts of heaven to me?" At that moment a cooling breeze rushed in from a pale evening sky and pushed back the hair from my face. It was then that I knew all my sin's were forgiven and the entirety of my existence had been consumed by the grace of the almighty God. I fell upon my knees and cried out “Thank you, Lord God!”
I was reborn and allowed to forget everything good and evil I had ever known about the life and the world I once lived in. Slowly, I stepped upon the little wood porch that extended the front boundary of the small home. Extending my arm outward, I tapped on the door. There was a moment where time stood still, and then the sweetest voice called out, "Who is it?"
I then spoke and said, “It is I” and without wasting another minute "LOVE" opened the door with happy tears flowing like millions of little diamonds, each one bursting with excitement. Then Love spoke to me and said, “Where have you been? I have been long worried that you wouldn't make it home.” We held each other tightly and I realized the blessing of having a mother's love. The love I was never given the chance to know. My life long quest to know my Mom is now finally over as I fully understand and have experienced a blessing only Jesus could have given.
All this, and I never left the operating table. Thank you Jesus!