I was severely depressed at the time before my NDE. I had gotten into a car accident a year prior and suffered short term memory loss. My neck and back were also in a lot of pain and my left eye would twitch at times. Family life was unbearable, dealing with school, my mom's chronic health issues, my dad's neglect and gambling addiction, and my brother's focus on himself. On top of severe abuse growing up, my sanity and patience started to dwindle.
Weeks before my NDE, I was extremely stressed and unable to study for a college exam. My moods were up and down. The only way I knew how to cope with all the stresses in my life was through an eating disorder. I began to eat less and less and lost a lot of weight. My stomach was always in pain and I had no energy to do anything. I was very fatigued and hanging on by a thread.
I began to see many doctors: a cardiologist that diagnosed me with heart arrhythmia, a gastroenterologist that only diagnosed me with IBS, a psychologist that diagnosed me with depression but all the medicines they gave seem to make me feel worse. As the days went by, my will to live began to fade. I started thinking "What's the point of living if I continue to suffer like this? Haven't I been through enough?"
The night of my NDE, my heart palpitations were getting worse but I just brushed it off as another symptom. I had no appetite and my vision became blurry. I cried for a few hours then collapsed on my bed.
While laying in bed, I started asking questions in my head. "Why am I suffering so much? How is there a creator, a benign God that would allow all this to happen to me?" I closed my eyes, tears stinging my face, but when I started to fell asleep I felt my breathing was slowing down. I began to gasp for air after asking that last question.
What happened next was the strangest feeling. I saw myself, my soul, lift out of my navel/belly button. I was looking down at my own body and I was perplexed. I went, "What the heck? I can still exist out of my body?" My essence traveled through an umbilical cord/tunnel that was white and grayish with wave like patterns. I was so distraught; I didn't know what to do.
Was I dying? My spirit was traveling super fast like the speed of light. On my way to this never-ending tunnel, I yelled at God to save me. I was so scared that I yelled out to Jesus to help me. I was desperate because I didn't know where I was heading. I said I would miss my family and my two cats.
The tunnel then reached to this luminous white dome-shaped room that didn't blind my eyes. But before I could go further, my spirit quickly traveled back down the tunnel and fell back into my body.
When I woke up I felt instantly refreshed. It almost felt like Earth is not really real and that this world is more like a dream than reality. I had a sense of peace and happiness more than I ever felt in my life. I also had healing from my anorexia. I had a lot more appetite and gained weight. I had more energy and was genuinely grateful and happy.
Things that used to bother me did not bother me anymore. I also sense energy and can see auras of people. Sometimes I can feel people suffering or know the thoughts in their head, their anguish and regret, or pain and guilt.
I also sense how animals suffer and have been vegetarian ever since. I have more compassion and tolerance to everyone. I used to be judgmental and materialistic. Now I don't buy as much and like to help others more. I felt as if we are all ONE.
If I'm in pain the other person absorbs my pain, If I'm love, the other person receives my love. I began to be more spiritual, more praying and use meditation. I feel more connected to NDE'ers when they tell their stories because it's like they have transformed, like me, and had an evolution of spirit in mortal body. I feel connected with source energy and God's protection and love for me.
Lately these renewed senses have gone back down to before I experienced my NDE. I wish to go back to that place. This world is full of suffering and I don't understand why we can't have this spiritual peace and happiness in this physical world all the time.
What I do know is that we should love each other and everyone's flaws, we are all here to learn, to make mistakes, to grow. We should serve humanity, be less selfish and self-absorbed. We should do more acts of kindness and without asking anything in return.
Lara
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